Asu Coal Mine had been in decline for many years. Jobs were disappearing and the miners had little education to prepare them for work in a society that was gradually switching to energy that was supplied by perpetual resources like wind and sunshine. Something drastic had to be done.
During the previous year, the miners attended many meetings at which D. “Pop” Ulist, an old man who liked to pretend to drive big trucks but actually did no work, told them that only he had a solution to the many problems that they faced. Pop didn’t talk like any of the mining engineers or supervisors, claimed to have no background in either occupation, and promised that he would “make the mine great again.”
Pop referred to the “bosses” as “fibbers,” “lil’ emperors,” and “crooked pillories of torture for the workers.” With help from personnel at the Naissur Uranium Mine, the exploited employees at Asu accomplished a bloodless coup and selected Pop Ulist to manage their future. Along with a few close advisers, mostly family members, Pop drew up a list of guiding principles for the new enterprise, which he named Lamina Coal Mine.
During his acceptance speech, which — it is claimed — was attended by every miner in the realm, he enumerated the guidelines for all Lamina workers. He told the miners that these tenets would be painted on a huge wall that would surround and protect the mine from outside influences. However, until the wall was built, the guidelines would be displayed on a flip chart in the break room.
Over the next few days, the miners filed through the break room and read the pages, each of which elaborated one rule, as follows:
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